Camping at Vaseux

Sorry folks! I've been gone for two weeks so I haven't really been able to write on my blog in that time.(No Computer at my Grammas OR Vaseux) So Im back and I cant wait to tell you all about my trip.

First week just my mom, my sister and me, went up to stay with my gramma. Gramma Sam we all call her. Shes doing pretty well.. but her feet hurt her a lot. Sometimes she can barely even stand up, and then she soaks her feet and crys.. its hard to see my gramma cry. I look up to my gramma. She was run over by a drunk driver when she was 10 and had to learn everything over again.. and shes still alive now.. shes 84. Shes my hero.

Altho I love my grammas, it can kinda be boring.. especially when the only other person around my age there, my sister, brought a friend. And she never really let me do anything with her.. so I was kinda left with my mom. Not saying my mom isn't fun.. but you know.. I need more kid company. Ya know?? imagine how my mom felt! but atleast she had her sisters.. and her mom..!

But enuf about then.

At Vaseux.












I cried the first day we got there... sat on the swings rested my head on the chains.. and balled my eyes out. Why? I missed Jessica.. My one and only friend left in the world( At the time). And then I started thinking about Sarah.. what I could've done to make the fight not so big.. Im not trying to play the innocent.. I know I screwed up just as much as she did, in my own ways. I had to admit it to myself. I missed Sarah. Loads. like.. CRAZY LOADS! After all, we WERE bestest friends... such good friends NO ONE could ever seperate us. Anytime one of us got an idea in our head, We did it.. no matter how hard it would be.

Vaseux was.... for the most part fun. Sometimes hanging out with only little kids got to my head.. and I prolly snapped at one of them.. a little more then i should've.... oops!
Hey! I mean.. its not really my fault! I needed someone there.. MY age.. or at least more mature then 10. Like Marina for example.. shes 10.. three years difference... but it doesn't feel like it. Shes really mature, and shes just a sweet heart! I love her to death! WE can hang out for FOREVER and we never tire of each other. At least.. I dont.. I dunno if she tires of me.. : Lets hope not!! haha. Me and Marina found a fish inside of a clam!! It was soo kewl! but it stunk... REALLY bad.. like.. rotten fish!! (hehe) We also found a snake ( dead one) Stuck in some washed up sea weed. Kinda gross.. but kewl. ALSO me and Marina went Fishing and it was the first fish marina ever caught without her dad in the boat!! So many memories!

Hmm any other memories worth remembering?? Taylor and I went fishing one morning Becuz Mike and his girls went out before us and each of them caught a fish. So I asked Mary, and she didn't want to go, so I resorted to Taylor. Taylor is Marys friend, shes awesome!! As we were zipping up our life jackets and slowing paddling out into the water she warns me. " Dont be suprised if we dont catch anything, I've grown to acceptthe fact that Im bad luck. Every time me and Mary go, we never caught a THING!"I just laughed and said "dont worry about it" 15 min later, and she catches a Fish! Guess Im good luck! :D It wasn't HUGE but it wasn't small either. It was maybe... 8-9 inches.. hey im not all that smart, I could be over exaderating, or underexaderating, but I dont think so. We brought it in cuz we didn't want it to die.. even tho it was in a bucket of lake water, she got her camera and she got me to take two pictures of her fish! She was sooo happy. It was her first Bass and her first Fish caught in that Lake. When we told my mom we caught something she said "I knew you would! I was praying for you two!!" Then Mike comes around, and says "And I was praying for protection, the wind was pretty strong." But hey, we made it there and back.. The canue could've tipped a couple times.. but thank goodness they were praying!

I never really did catch anything that year, but I dont really need to! Im just happy when someone else catches a fish, they're happiness makes me feel happy for them.. and I dont really care that I never caught anything!

Me and Marina also organized the kids and put on two dance shows... one with two dances.. Me and Marina's Dueo. And then A group dance. This was our end Pose. Thats Emma on top, Geli on the left, Me in the middle, Marina on the right, and then Xandra up front.











The second nite we waited till it was PITCH black and used Glow sticks.. We just took the group dance and fixed it up.. it needed A LOT more time and effort put into it!!
.......................iiiits...........




GLOW STICK TIMEE!!

IM blue, same with Geli and Emma. Xandra is Green and Marina is Orange(which sometimes looks red...)



Well I should be going! I'll re post my post about my puppy Dukey.. maybe tomorrow or something! Talk to you then!!

Love ya

<3Shaina

Squabbling

Two days ago, I got into BIG trouble. I took another one of my sisters things without asking.. and I told her after I already took it. She got very mad... and then mom got mad. And mom and I fought over msn for almost 45 min. I dont like fighting with my mom.. its crappy. But I guess when you be bad, it just happens. Im trying to stop. I dont know what Im thinking when i take her stuff.. I guess im not really thinking. Its very wierd. Becuz when I take her stuff... I dont remember anything that I've been told before.. its like my mind kinda goes blank! I know thats not an exuse for taking her stuff... but Its really weird. And I can never remember what I was thinking when i take it. Mom always asks me the same question.. 'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!' and I honestly... dont know.

My punishment for taking Marys things is I have to help her with her chores and cleaning her room. But before she assigns something to me she has to check with mom first. I think I deserve a punishment.. but i didn't particularily like this one.... Haha

Me and my sister tend to fight a lot. Over the tinyest things! Like... mom will ask whose sock is in the hallway... and we both say its not ours.. and then we fight over it. We fight over things that DONT EVEN MATTER!! I really hate fighting with my sister. Because I see all these people who dont talk to there sisters anymore.. and I dont want it to be like that. I love my sister.. so much. But I've never told her that. I dont know why I haven't... Mary isn't really the sensitive one. If I ever told her... shed just be like.. "Cool." And then it would be all akward. Haha, but she knows I love her

Anyways. I hope I wont get in trouble again soon! I want to go to the movies today with Jessica to see 'Step up' or 'World Trade Center'. I hope to be seeing one of them before I go on Vacation. My family and two other families from our church are going up to the Okanogan for a vacation. Its a really nice little place. With our own private beach... and the waters really nice. Its good for fishing, and its just all around awesome! the kids have loads of fun swimming and playing with each other.. and the adults have fun talking and swimming. At nite sometimes we play board games all together. Its lots of fun, and I CANT WAIT to go!

I also cant wait for it to be over! Im soooo excited to go back to school! This year my school is switching buildings, so me and my friend Jessica are so excited to get to school! We hope we're in the same class! If we're not.. we're not gonna be too happy! But Im glad I get to go to this school! I love all the teachers there.. and all my friends, and the fine arts of course! Haha!

Well anyways, I guess I should get to calling Jessica to go to the movies!!

BiBi<3<3

Sarah and Kevin

Sarah and Kevin used to be two of my very best friends. We did everything together! Me and Sarah even bought our first purses together. Kevin, He ALWAYS stuck up for us no matter what, even if it was us that was doing the wrong thing. Hes been friends with jess since grade 3, and with her every step of the way. Me and Kevin have been friendds since grade four and with me every step of the way. Untill now. Sarah and I have been friends since grade 3 we've done EVERYTHING together. Sarah and Jess have been friends since grade 4, and done EVERYTHING together. Until now.

Sarah

Almost a month ago now, I signed up on this website ,A modeling one ,just for fun, and I got accepted. Im pretty sure thats what set Sarah off. She started flipping out at me over webcam and msn. She told me I wasn't model matieral, and the modeling agency wouldn't accept such an ugly person.. so i MUST be lying. That hurt.. ALOT.. but then it keeps going. "You must be mistaken, they must have told you to try out for plus sized modeling, Becuz you're soo fat! your like.. what 130 pounds?" That hurt... becuz I am almost 130 pounds. It didn't really bother me at first.. becuz I dont care about my weight alot.. i dont wanna be a stick.. ya know? That not the worst of it.. it keeps going "we were never that good of friends.. you know why? cuz your fat, thats why! I hate you so much.. you such a *BEEP*" Oh yeah, and you can bet that hurt. I wont waste your time by telling you the rest. Lets just say, she got pretty mean. And you can bet, I got pretty hurt, which probably made me meaner then i should ever be. But I was really hurt, and i couldnt control myself.

One more thing sarah said about my dearest friend Jill. "Hey, did you hear Jill smokes pot?" me " Sarah, Jill doesn't smoke pot, she never has, and she never will" Sarah "oh yes she has! Ask Kevin!She smoked it with him and Josh" So I ask Kevin, and what does Kevin say? " what the heck?! no!! I haven't seen Jill all summer!" So I tell that to Sarah, and shes says, "he's lying, ask Josh" I ask Josh, and what does Josh say? "No! I Haven't seen Jill sence the end of the year party!!" Tell that to Sarah, but NOOOOO! They're lying, and Jill smokes pot. Can you say recipe for disaster? Eventually I told Jill, and Jill usually isn't the type to get angry, but when someone spreads such HORRIBLE rumors about her, you cant blame 'er.. can you?

Dont get me wrong, I loved Sarah. We were tight, ya know? We were best friends! She helped me with everything I ever wanted to do... Made me feel like I could totally do it! But, she hears rumors, UNTRUE rumors, and believes them. Thats the one sad thing about it. Im going to miss Sarah. We can not be mad at each other.. but i am not gonig to be her friend again... not after what she did to me, and Jill, and Jessica

Kevin

One day we were friends.. the next he did the same thing! "Your so fat, you're soo ugly. Change your Display Picture you're making me barf! I hate you, I never wanna see ur ugly face again" And Crap like that. I'd have to say, It hurt more then what Sarah did. Kevin and I were WAYY closer then me and Sarah. Then Jessica got into the fight, becuz she heard what Kevin did to me ( She was sleeping over ) And she got mad at him for being to thoughtless to me. And that set him off, he started Swearing, and throwing come backs.. and capitalizling every word over the computer so we REALLY knew he was angry! We both said we didnt want to be his friend anymore.. not after we realized, how angry he could get... imagine if we were there! And he was mad at us?! Hed be like.. hitting us.. hard. Its kinda scary. But he said he didn't care... but hes now trying to be nice! Its very confusing. Some days hes really nice, even tho we aren't friends.. and it brings back memories.. I really like being Kevins friend, and im sad that we aren't friends anymore. But I dont wanna be the one that he hurts really badly when he gets angry! I just dont wanna get hurt. I know many of you are thinking... what hes just Kevin! But are you forgetting maybe, what he did to ram? Ram could've passed out, he could've died! Kevin was like.. punching him in the face.. stangling him. It took four teachers to get Kevin off of Ram.Yea, thats why were scared.

I dont know... how I could ever trust him with anything again. For example.. he talks crap about me behind my back.. and then he tells me hes my friend. The very same night.. he starts yelling at me over msn.. saying that Im ugly and crap AGAIN! He even told me to go kill myself. Hes like.. you know what, you should just go kill yourself now, go die. You must be embarassed that no one believes you could've been a model, so you might as well not live anymore. I told him I didn't care if no one believed me... I didn't need anyone to believe me for it to be true.. ya know? Then he starts tell other people rite? And then they're all like.. Shayna a model? Ew! The only way she'd get accepted is if the modeling agency was.. blind.. deaf... crippled. Shes way to.. Ugly.. Smelly.. Short. Just plain Ugly. Oh gee thanx for telling me Kevin! Then hes like.. see? Everyone thinks ur ugly! ... You can die now...

Now, before we were fighting I could tell Kevin everything.. so once I told him.. that being a pastors daughter was hard.. the pressure to be perfect.. act perfect.. look perfect! Its hard sometimes! Thats why I like our small church becuz most of the time.. They dont expect that of me. But I expect that of myself, ya know? And some times it seems like my parents do to. Its a lot of stresss.

But anyways, so I told that to Kevin right? When he tells me to go kill myself, I said to him.. "No thanx Kevin, I like my life" and he just HAD to say "Obviously not, you said you hated it, the pressure of always being perfect!" Which basically said to me 'if you hate having to be perfect.. just die.'

And now you can bet, im feeling VERY depressed rite now, and eating lots of 'comfort food' (ie; getting Cacee to walk down to the candy store with me so i could buy an ice cream drum stick and a chocolate bar, and I've been drinking smoothies.. eating Yogurt, dry cereal, anything I can get my hands on. Can u say FAT and PRAYER? yea, thats what I need the most rite now. Not so much fatty stuff and Prayer.. and lots of it.

Yea shure, somtimes I dont really like my life, but I live with it.. work around it. I wont deny it. Every kid feels the same way every once and a while.Dont mean I hate anything about my life, and I've never really regret something. I'd rather regret something for doing it, then regret not doing it.

Getting off topic. Sarah and Kevin really hurt me.. a lot. It sux to be treated like that by two of ur best friends. I hope I dont have to see them again. After all that crap they put me through.. what I need right now, the MOST is to relax with some of my real friends. The ones I know wont turn on me no matter what. Sarah and Kevin were friends that I got into little fights all the time with.. So I guess, they weren't to of my closest friends, but they were good friends nonetheless. Well tomorrow, I wanna go to the Alexanders.. spend time with the people that really care about me. That wont turn on me. But the people I really should be spending time with, is my family. Which I should be going to spend time with right now..

Good nite Friends.<3>