Mexico ...yes i know, again!

Hola Amigas

Como estas?

I was just sitting here thinking about stuff, and I can't seem to get Mexico out of my head still. I try to get my mind off things, but EVERYTHING reminds me of all my little girls, especially Danna. Its really hard to forget, especially because I'm learning spanish, so its reminds me. Me and Danna had an inside joke everytime someone said 'uno momento' so now whenever I say it it almost makes me cry.

This is my Danna, everyone. Cutey ain't she? I miss her so much!! The day that we left, she almost never let me put her down! Which made it so much harder to say goodbye to her, cause it looked as if she was about to cry. I wouldn't be surprised, I was bawling my eyes out! Seriously, I would try to put her down because my arms would start to hurt and she would wrap her legs around me and not let go. not for the life of me! I couldn't get her off of me! She did NOT want to let go of me. Oh Danna, I miss you so much hunney! I mean, I know I am going to go back, and get to be with her and her family again. but its just such a hard wait. Plus by the time I see them all again... Danna will be huge! She will be like.. 8?! Maybe, I'm not exactly sure her exact age. but thats just crazy! I can't imagine my Danna being that big! Or her little sister Yari, she will be like.. 6! Oh dear. And her older sister Abi, will be like 12! Oh my gosh! Seriously though, Danna was like the little sister I never had, but I always wished I did. She was always with me. Always.. and now she is gone. Its really wierd, I don't know what to do without her. Everytime I see a picture of her I always expect to see her running around the corner and screaming my name. Or everytime I walk past a chair its like I can almost still feel her springing out of know where onto my back. Everything I do reminds me of her. I love the things she used to do. Oh when I walked away, I counted the steps I took. we are so far away from each other. I can't stand it. So many times I've almost packed a bag and walked out the door. But where would I go? I couldn't very well walk back to Mexico, now could I? I wish they could all see how much I need them right now. I miss them so much.

I feel like no one gets me. I'm trying not to speak about Mexico in my house because I know that no one wants to hear it. But sometimes its so hard... being so alone in a house with so many people in it. You have no idea. If I could, I would go on about Mexico 24/7 and never stop. But I can't. I always either get in trouble for talking to much, or for annoying everyone. Well "I'm sorry" is that what you want? Becuase if it is, I can say it. I may not mean it.. but I'll say it.

If only someone understood me right now. I need to be with someone who DOES understand. And someone who will encourage me, not tell me that its not going to happen, you know?

Man I have so many memories that I can't seem to get out of my head. Like the time I went shopping with Liz and Asael and Asael put a sombraro on my head and said "Shayna scream!" of course I did a little hoarse "ahhhh!" And he laughed so hard, Liz was just in the front shaking her head at her husband and quietly laughing to herself, and he said "Shayna is mexican!" I'll never forget that. I am fully mexican now says Asael. Haha, oh, I miss him. Just look at him! He is such an awesome guy! And its so hard to leave him behind. Him and his wife Liz. And of course their amazing daughters. I love them all so much. One of my favourite memories will always be just how much they loved me.. and took me in as part of their family. They asked me to go shopping with them, Asael and Liz even wanted me to come to Asael's moms house for breakfast so that she could meet me, becuase they wanted their mom to meet me so badly. That shows me how much they loved me. The last day we were in Mexico, They were giving me all sorts of presents, Asael even gave me his sunglasses! Becuase we, haha, we had an inside joke.. me Asael and Liz. They went and saw Casino Royale, you know... James bond? So he would, haha, he'd put the sunglasses on and say "Shayna, I am Bond... James bond" It was so funny,me and Liz just laughed and laughed at him, he thought he was so cool. he even went and bought Liz a Fish and named it James. Haha. What a cutie eh? I'll never forget everything that we did together. That would just be plain wrong. But I was SO disapointed, I cried myself to sleep! I got back to my hotel and realized that I didn't have Asael's sunglasses with me anymore!! I was so depressed. I still can't believe I don't know where they are. Am I that horrible of a person? That someone who has so little gives me one of their expensive possesions and I just lose it the NIGHT that he gave it to me? Ugh.

This is [from left to right] Asael [wearing his canada hat, mite i add] My mom, Liz [looking beautiful] and Sundra [our cook.. shes amazing!].

I remember sitting on the bus for 2 hours with Liz and she would just point to stuff and teach it to me in spanish. Like "burbuja" is bubble, its not pronounced at all the way it looks. Its said more like "Bull- boo - kccha" the last part is kinda like your hucking a looge. Yummy eh? I couldn't think of a better way of describing it. She taught me that at one of the clinics when she was painting my nails.

Painting my nails. Yes you heard me right, She like... French Manicured my nails! I was like oh yea baby! She is one of the most amazing woman I think I will ever meet. You have no idea. I wish for all of you to meet them, though I know it will probably not happen. Sad though, they are the most amazing little family. When I go back, I [and i will be going back] I will bring you more pictures. sound good?

Another memory that I will never forget is that My "Abbotsford School of Intergrated Arts" bracelet is in mexico! not kidding, its with Danna. Look I have proof.

Look at the white band on my wrist. That would be my bracelet.
now look at Danna's wrist. she is in Tod's arms, she is wearing my bracelet. Haha cutie.

Anyways. I don't wanna bore y'all to death with my sad stories. I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. And I'm so SICK of having to fake a smile and tell people that i'm fine, when i'm obviously not. No its not just Mexico, its a million things trying to cram itself into one thought, but its not working out. I am trying to hold it all in, but then when someone that I trust finally asks me how i'm doing, i just EXPLODE with all my crap, for lack of a better word. And it sucks! Because then I feel so stupid for dumping all that crap on them that they didn't need. But where else is it supposed to go? I tried to keep it inside, but that just doesn't work, as evident by many times exploding.

I had a little bit of a leakage going on. I didn't explode today, but this morning... wwhoooo eeeee was I ever cranky. I just can't handle it sometimes. its a little too much for me. And it seems like I have to find a way, becuase no one really cares anyways. ya know?

Anyways. here are some pics to feast y'alls eyes on.

This is Me and Yari. Liz and Asael's Daughter

These are two cuties in Coushkiwi.

This is Risa. [Rice-a] She is from Entabledaro.

And this is all my Entabledaro Kids. MISS YOU!

These are my coushkiwi chickas. Faces painted and everything! Haha
Dancing in La Uno. Second Last Day

I am dancing with Yari, Betty with Danna.

Yes i'm aware, i look like a doof. but Yari is CUTE!!

Playing with the left over glasses.

Danna just being Danna.

Kate and I in Coushkiwi. One of my favourite nurses.
Yari. Adorable!! I miss 'er!

Pyramids. Mayan Pyramids, now would be the time to say ""oooooo! Ahhhh" Fantasic photography Shayna! Haha.

Abi, Danna, Anna, Risa, my FAVOURITE girlies.

I know its blurred, but its me and Solie, and its cute!

Cactus Boo, Betty and I found on the way to Entabledaro.

Sisterly Love. ♥

Mexico City from the Sky, Smoggy eh?

Our freakkin' awesome pink bus. Darn straight, used it almost everyday.

Dancing with the kiddies. Entabledaro ♥