I'm so sick of everyone saying me being 'homesick' for mexico is "normal". That everyone feels it, but eventually grows out of it. What if I dont wanna grow out of it? What if I wanna stay missing mexico..? More ways for me to remember that I am going to live there. I already know I am. Its been planned, like I've said a whole bunch of times before. Everyone knows it, so stop telling me any different! You can think what you want.. and say what you feel, but don't try to crush my dreams. Hell, even if i'm not going to live there later like I want to.. whats the harm in just letting me dream? And dream on I shall.. I miss Mexico so much. I want to be there with my 2nd family RIGHT now. I wish I was.. I hate Abbotsford now.. I hate this place.. I miss my home in mexico. But dont worry people of entabledaro... I wont be gone too long, because I can't truly be at home until I am where my heart is.. and My heart is with the people of entabledaro. Theres nothing anyone can do about that.. so I'm sorry, but please stop trying. Your telling me that I am going to forget Mexico. Well not technically forget Mexico, but forget my passion to go there. Sorry, but that isn't going to happen. I am in LOVE with Mexico.. and no one can tell me otherwise. There are only two people in this world who believe me.. and one lives in the US, in two years will live in Mexico, and one live in Abbotsford like me, but come september and shes in mexico also.
All of y'all have no idea. I can quite honestly say that I feel God is CALLING me to Mexico.. can't you get that? C-A-L-L-I-N-G M-E! Me.. no one else! So why does everyone feel the need to put in their little tidbit about everything! I'm tired of it! I just want someone in THIS country to support me in my desicions. I don't give a flying horses arrrsee what you think about it. Just help me through this.. be a shoulder to lean on, and don't try the whole "Well I told you before, everyone goes thru this on their first missions trip" Or the person who says "You will grow out of it sweetie!" Or even the person who says "Well, my daughter moved to (someplace) and her and her husband are still trying to get the bugs out!" I don't need someone to tell me what other people have gone thru. I dont need someone to someone to tell me what I will and will not do. And I dont need someone to tell me what people in their life are doing. I am only thinking about what I will be doing in tres años, and what I am doing now to help me reach that goal. I dont really care what anyone says. I am only listening to God. And sure, you can not believe me, I dont really care.. I am only listening to God, like I said before. And hey, what a coincidence.. I really wanna do this to.
Seriously.. All I need is someone who will just support me! Please! That is all I'm asking, you dont need to pay for my ticket to mexico, drop me off at the airport and buy me a house! All you have to do is be there when I need someone to talk to, or if I'm sad.. don't tell me to stop talking.. let me vent, I need it. And one last thing. Don't try to compare my feelings with other peoples feelings that they may have had. Don't try to understand, because if you couldn't see why I wanted to be there right now from my stories, then you wont find out later.. so trying to understand when you really aren't is not helping anyone. If you want to understand.. LISTEN. just.. listen. Ask questions.. talk to me.. but don't think you know everything already.
Anyways. Thats my little rant. Sorry if this sounds really whiny. I dont mean it to be.. I'm just upset, and with the person I now mostly talk to in Kamloops.. There really is no one but people on msn, and thats just not the same. I could call the girl in Kamloops, but I dont wanna interupt her time with her mom, brother and neice, so why bother? I mean, she should be home.. at the end of the week? Hopefully anyways. Then she might be comming over :) Yaaay.
I'll go now. Leaving on that happy note!
Adios. Dios te bendiga.
Con amor, De: Shayna
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Home again
Hey y'all I'm home. But I dont wanna be. I mite be getting homeschooled bext year so i can finish school faster and go live in entabledaro, its in veracruz mexico. I met the most amazing people there. The pastor and his wife for one. They are both the pastors of the church in entabledaro. And their kids!! Oh jeez, I miss them all so much already. When I said goodbye the first time, I cried so hard. Then they surprised us by comming up to La Uno (the place we went after 5 days in entabledaro) and I got even closer to them, and so it was even harder to say good bye. I cried ten times harder becuase I know, If i dont work my butt off to save up money to go see them, it wont happen. And I want it to happen so badly.
I didn't speak their language [only a couple words], and they didn't speak mine [only a couple words too, we were both learning each others language], but we connected so easily! I'm going to learn spanish, so I can call Liz, I have every possible way of contact with them, without actually being with them. I have Liz's cell number, I have Liz's email, and Asa's, and I have Liz and Asa's adress for mail. I'm going to use an online translator to translate for me until I speak spanish tho.
Lizbeth, and Asaeal [the pastors], told me that "me casa, su casa" Their house is my house. They didn't want me to leave. They said that if I come to live in Entabledaro, I can live with them. And they want me to come for visits all the time, And stay with them. I would love to! I miss them all already.Liz gave me like... 10 hugs the night we were saying goodbye, becuase one of us would suck it up and stop crying, but then we'd see the other bawling, and it would make us cry all over again. It was really sad! If Asa found one of us crying, he would bring us over to the other one, and make us hug again. I never wanted to let go. She was like.. a second mother to me.. A best friend, An older sister. And they were all giving me gifts and stuff. Liz and Asa bought me a shirt, I told them not to, but they said it would help me to remember them. How could I say no to that?
The kids were the second hardest to say goodbye to. Abi, 6, Danna, 5, and Jarib (dont pronouce the b) 3. Danna was like clinging to me and not letting go, she didn't want us to leave. She wouldn't even let me put her down. I would go to put her down, and she would wrap her legs even tighter. I cried so hard saying goodbye to her.
Asa had already explained to the kids before hand what was going on, so they already knew. And they didn't seem to like it. Abby kept comming and standing in front of me when i didn't have Danna, and she would just lean into me, and give me these huge hugs. Or when I was sitting down, she would just run and jump onto my lap. I miss her so much. It was so hard to say goodbye to all her too. I cried so hard.
Jarib was already sleeping in the car, so I didn't get to say goodbye to her.. But I cried for her all the same. I miss everysingle one of them. and not being able to say goodbye to Jarib was the worst feeling ever.
Anyways, that was just what I was thinking about right now. I miss Entabledaro, and I AM going back there. Some time. I know this entry makes me sound like a wuss, but i dont really give a flying horses arsssee. I loved these people with all my heart, and I never wanted to leave them. Which is why I am moving up there and living with them. Its already been planned between me, Asa and Liz.
I didn't speak their language [only a couple words], and they didn't speak mine [only a couple words too, we were both learning each others language], but we connected so easily! I'm going to learn spanish, so I can call Liz, I have every possible way of contact with them, without actually being with them. I have Liz's cell number, I have Liz's email, and Asa's, and I have Liz and Asa's adress for mail. I'm going to use an online translator to translate for me until I speak spanish tho.
Lizbeth, and Asaeal [the pastors], told me that "me casa, su casa" Their house is my house. They didn't want me to leave. They said that if I come to live in Entabledaro, I can live with them. And they want me to come for visits all the time, And stay with them. I would love to! I miss them all already.Liz gave me like... 10 hugs the night we were saying goodbye, becuase one of us would suck it up and stop crying, but then we'd see the other bawling, and it would make us cry all over again. It was really sad! If Asa found one of us crying, he would bring us over to the other one, and make us hug again. I never wanted to let go. She was like.. a second mother to me.. A best friend, An older sister. And they were all giving me gifts and stuff. Liz and Asa bought me a shirt, I told them not to, but they said it would help me to remember them. How could I say no to that?
The kids were the second hardest to say goodbye to. Abi, 6, Danna, 5, and Jarib (dont pronouce the b) 3. Danna was like clinging to me and not letting go, she didn't want us to leave. She wouldn't even let me put her down. I would go to put her down, and she would wrap her legs even tighter. I cried so hard saying goodbye to her.
Asa had already explained to the kids before hand what was going on, so they already knew. And they didn't seem to like it. Abby kept comming and standing in front of me when i didn't have Danna, and she would just lean into me, and give me these huge hugs. Or when I was sitting down, she would just run and jump onto my lap. I miss her so much. It was so hard to say goodbye to all her too. I cried so hard.
Jarib was already sleeping in the car, so I didn't get to say goodbye to her.. But I cried for her all the same. I miss everysingle one of them. and not being able to say goodbye to Jarib was the worst feeling ever.
Anyways, that was just what I was thinking about right now. I miss Entabledaro, and I AM going back there. Some time. I know this entry makes me sound like a wuss, but i dont really give a flying horses arsssee. I loved these people with all my heart, and I never wanted to leave them. Which is why I am moving up there and living with them. Its already been planned between me, Asa and Liz.
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