Rawr!

Rawr!! im so freaaakkkinnnn' confused right now. Sometimes things are just so screwed up. Now is one of those down times, I hate this! I just... i get so confused.. and so caught up in everything, that I dont know what to do. For instance.. All my friends say they're there for me.. but it feels like im alone, no matter what. They are always making plans without me.. not that that usually bugs me.. but then they talk about how much fun it'll be without me.. while im there. thats what annoys me. Of course.. I get up and walk away so they wont notice the tears. I dont think they realize how much it hurts, they're so used to being accepted right away.. not realizing that theres me.. who does't get accepted so easily. They dont realize that not all of us can be as... hmmmmm. I cant think of the word. I know God is with me always, but it still hurts to have all my friends doing this to me. I will talk to them.. I have talked to them.. nothing seems to be working. I love my friends so much and I really dont wanna be losing them right now!

There are some people that have helped me a lot tho.
Mrs.Lainchbury for one. She was the sweetest teacher I ever had. Altho 5 years ago.. I still sometimes come to her when I need someone to talk to. She is the most kind and compassionate person I know, She makes time for you no matter what.. no matter how busy she is.. she'll work while you talk, and it really helps... I just wish I could see her more often, and do more in return for her...She is the kind of teacher that you wish every teacher could just be like. I'll never forget you.. you've helped me so much<3 I love you, and Miss you terribly<3
Mrs.Majewski is one of the best teachers ever. She ALWAYS listens and ALWAYS makes time for you, no matter how busy her schedule is. She is the kind of teacher you wish for on your first day of school. She never makes you feel stupid for anything you say.. even if what you said was completely retarded. And believe me.. if you know me.. you'd know half the stuff I say is completely retarded. Shes the kinda of teacher you'll never forget. I love you<3 I'm so glad to have you as my teacher for the second time<33
Miss Dussin was my teacher last year, now she teaches at a different school.. and I miss her soo much! :( Shes the kind of teacher that made you love coming to school in the morning. She ( along with the two mentioned above) is one of the main reasons why I didn't actually mind that much, getting out of bed in the morning for school. She always let me talk to her after school. And even if she wasn't there for the day (T.O.C) She'd leave us a note somewhere.. telling us how much she'd miss us.. and reminding us to be good. We even thought to throw her a suprise party. I love you and miss you soo much <3 I wish you didn't have to leave us so soon
These are a few of the people that helped me the most during all the hard times I had. Only one of the time was actually really really bad.. but nonetheless all of them were hard. I wish I didn't have to go thru all of this. Part of me wishes I was little again.. so I would've have anythign to worry about anymore.. But im not.. and sometimes it rox, and I love it, but other times it really sux.. and all i do is literally crawl into a ball on the ground and cry.. it sux. But.. I know how to get over it fast, most of the time.

Dont get me wrong.. I have LOADS of good times in my life.. more good then bad. And I owe that to LOTS of people.. too many to name.. but name a few... I can do.
Jessica...Maggie...Sarah...Jill...Shauna...Brook...Tanya...Tricia...Andrea...
Kristie...Christine...Aisha...Taylor...(etc)
And those were only a few. My friends are really good and all, I love them SO much.. I dont know what I'd ever do without them.. thanx guys.. I love you so much... I know we'll always be there for each other.

Especially you Aisha and Jill.. we've been friends since grade 2.. since the Beginning.. and i love you so much, and I think its SOO cool that me and you are still really good friends.. and I love you both for it<3

byes

<3 Shayna

P.S you know who else I really love? Tyra Banks, Yeah yeah.. I know.. I'll never get to meet her.. but shes liek my hero.. I'd do anything.. I wish that I could meet her.. Thats my wish. To be like Tyra.. so I can meet Tyra. I Wish I could so badly.. And If I did.. I'd probably DIE from shock.. I love her soo much, she is SUCH a role model to me. I sign up for everything Tyra haha! including personal newsletters that she writes and sends out herself to everyone that signs up. I love you Tyra!! So much! I wish I could meet you :( <33333